The New Year is traditionally a time when we take the opportunity to start over. Whether it’s making changes to our health, career, relationship, or some other aspect of our life, it seems we are willing to let go of the past and make a resolution to put effort into a change for the better.
Letting go of the past is an integral part of being able to move forward. “Don’t look in the rear view mirror,” as some say. While I agree with not wallowing in the past and agonizing over things you can’t change, I do believe there is a mirror we need to look into – the mirror that enables us to look at ourselves.
Many of us want to make changes, because we feel we’re not happy. So many of us are searching for a new job, a new title, a new relationship, a new car, a new diet, a new house, a new cause to support, or a new business to start, etc. But it seems a lot of times, even when we do get those things we are still not satisfied. That’s where I think looking in that mirror may serve a very good purpose.
Maybe what’s lacking is not what we perceive to be on the outside; if when we do get the things we say we want; the feeling of happiness doesn’t last. In a short time we are finding things wrong with the job, trying to get the bigger title, seeking attention from members of the opposite sex instead of our partner, spending more money to change the new house, or looking at next year’s version of the car.
On an on it goes, but maybe what’s lacking is not in the external thing, situation, or person. Maybe it’s something that we perceive to be lacking within ourselves. And, until we look in that mirror and see what is wrong on an emotional level, nothing on the outside will ever fill that space.
I once heard a great expression, “If you have a hole in your pocket and nickels keep falling out, putting more and more nickels into your pocket is not going to solve the problem.” You need to mend the hole in the pocket in order to stop losing the nickels!
Is there hole in your “pocket?” Do you need to look in that proverbial mirror and see what needs to be mended on the inside? Until then, nothing on the outside – no title, relationship, or shiny new car will bring the lasting feelings you long for.
It’s that simple, but it’s not that easy. It can be a difficult process requiring courage and a willingness to look at our emotional wounds and do the inside healing work. It’s a deep level of self-awareness, and it can be painful to bring to your own consciousness. But, I don’t think there is a greater freedom and eventual peace than self-awareness.
Once this happens, the external things in life you strive for will be enough, because the feelings you are wanting are really already there. Some people go their whole lives choosing not to do this; and that’s OK, as long they are not hurting other people by ignoring their own wounds.
This New Year brings the gift of starting over. Take the time to make sure you look in the “rear view mirror” just long enough to make sure you are going forward as the BEST version of yourself.
Maureen Keyte is a Certified Personal Coach and Professional Writer with a passion for helping others through life transitions in order to become the best versions of themselves. Her writing has been published in several regional and national print and online publications. She is also a grant and marketing writer for non-profit agencies and businesses that focus on empowering women and young girls. Contact – Website – Facebook – LinkedIn – Pinterest – Twitter
Photo Credit – marcolm