Single people often talk of wanting to find their soulmate and living happily ever after. But exactly is a “soulmate”? Are soulmates always the ones we are meant to be with forever? Or is there a possibility that there’s more than one in a lifetime?
Romantic relationships, especially during the Valentine’s season, are often portrayed as blissful and joyful with the enchanted fairytale ending that completes your life. But as we all know, relationships can also be painful and a lot of work. That doesn’t mean if they are those things that you have not met your soulmate.
“Relationships reflect back to us all that we need to heal, is a quote from the spiritual text A Course in Miracles. Maybe it’s true that your soulmate comes into your life to teach you what you need to learn about yourself. Becoming self-aware is a process and an intimate relationships with another can hold up a mirror and reflect back to you the parts of yourself that need to be healed.
I do believe sometimes the reason two people come together is to bring up their wounds in each other. The ups and downs of a relationship are the work it takes to learn those lessons and the opportunity to become a better version of yourself. If you choose it to be.
I don’t think there is any greater place than the vulnerable space of a romantic relationship for all of our insecurities, past hurts or perceived limitations to erupt within and come to the surface.
Having someone who is able to subconsciously confirm the false story you are playing in your head is most definitely the makings of a soulmate. For example: I feel insecure, you bring up my lack of self-worth; I feel powerless, you bring up the control freak in me; I feel abandoned, you bring up my neediness.
The trick as these wounds come up is to address them within yourself instead of looking to the other person blame. Rather than just saying – It’s all you, not me – and then walking away, the journey starts with seeing what wounds their behavior has brought up in you and working to resolve them.
Sometimes you are able to work through this and stay together. Sometimes you are not. All soul mate relationships aren’t meant to last. The key is to leave them as a better person than when you started them.
You are not a better person if you are harboring anger or any other negative emotion, whether you stay in the relationship or move on. Forgiveness is easier if you understand that the other person had their lessons to learn and their wounds to heal just as much as you.
Finding a soulmate is a beautiful thing filled with love and joy, they can also be filled with heartache and challenge. Either way, relationships are meant to help us grow if we take the opportunity they give to be open to the lessons.
Each relationship you enter –whether it is with your soul mate “for now” or your soulmate “forever” gives you the gift of knowing yourself better.
Maureen Keyte is a Certified Personal Coach and Professional Writer with a passion for helping others through life transitions in order to become the best versions of themselves. Her writing has been published in several regional and national print and online publications. She is also a grant and marketing writer for non-profit agencies and businesses that focus on empowering women and young girls. Contact – Website – Facebook – Pinterest – Twitter
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