Mar 012017
 

 

Jenn Clark - Life

Just like every other canine owner in America, I’m convinced I’ve had the best dogs to ever walk the face of the earth.  My boy, Dudley, sadly passed away just over a year ago.  However, up until the time of his death, he both looked and acted like a puppy – especially when he would beg for food.

Dudley’s big brown eyes would grow even larger, he’d start to drool, and would act as though he hadn’t eaten for weeks and was desperate for a bite – just a bite – of whatever I happened to have in my mouth. 

And that boy would take anything I gave him.  It didn’t matter if it was a bit of lettuce or a bread crumb, Dudley would gobble it up as if it were the tastiest treat he’d ever had.

How many of us have acted like Dudley when it comes to men and dating?  We’ll behave as though we’ve never had a man pay any attention to us and will settle for whatever (s)crap a guy throws our way.  We’ll sit, beg, and roll over all to get a man to like us – to choose us.  And guys can sense this desperation almost immediately.

What happens when we act like “Begging Puppies?”  The man will either run (much like I did when I’d retreat into another room to get away from Dudley’s whimpering) or he’ll throw us a bone for a little while (both literally and figuratively).  However, he will never give us a substantial portion.  Acting overly eager to please is a complete turn-off.

My good friend Eric recently dealt with a woman named Claire who acted like a “Begging Puppy.”  Claire’s first mistake was she asked him on a date.  Although Eric wasn’t particularly attracted to her, he felt bad about turning her down and agreed to go out with her.

“She made all the plans,” he told me.  “I felt like I didn’t have a say in what we did.  But she was so excited I decided to go along with it.”

For the better part of an entire day, Claire dragged Eric from a farmer’s market to a Victorian tea house for lunch and then to a bar afterward.

“It was so obvious she didn’t want the date to end,” Eric recalled.  “I barely said a word the whole day.  I can’t believe she couldn’t tell I wasn’t feeling it.”

Even though Claire was oblivious to Eric’s lack of interest, that didn’t prevent her from expressing her feelings.

“She kept telling me how good looking I was and how excited she was to go out with me.  I mean, it’s nice to be complimented, but it came off as desperate.”

Finally Eric couldn’t take anymore.  “I thought it would never end, so after a couple of drinks at the bar I told her I had to be getting home.”

As Eric pulled up to Claire’s house, she tried to keep things going even longer and invited him to come inside.

“When I told her ‘no,’ she looked like she was going to cry.  She said to me, ‘I’m not going to hear from you again am I?’  I didn’t know what to say.”

Surprise, surprise – Eric never did call Claire, let alone go out with her again.

Are you wondering if you, like Claire, are a “Begging Puppy?”  If so, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Do you laugh too hard, come off as nervous, or act like you are much too concerned with saying the right thing?

2. Do you overlook bad behavior?

3. Do you think a bad guy is better than no guy?

4. Do you use sex to get him?  Dress provocatively?  Often go too far too fast?

5. Do you tell dates how badly you want to get married and have kids?

6. Do you let men push your boundaries or treat you with disrespect hoping they’ll eventually approve of you?

7. Do you accept last-minute dates and show up whenever and wherever he asks you to?  Even if it means canceling other plans?

If you can relate to these questions, you might very well be a “Begging Puppy.”  Now is the time to stop that behavior.  From this point forward, you are no man’s pet.

You are a strong, confident woman who doesn’t need a guy to “complete her” or make her feel whole.  You aren’t willing to do whatever he wants in the hopes he will like you as a result.  You won’t allow a man to throw you crumbs and call them an entrée.

Jenn Clark is a relationship advice expert, magazine columnist, and published author of the book “How to Be a Goddess (A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming the Woman Men Dream About).”  Her blog, “Jenn X: 30Something & Single,” was recently named one of 2013’s top ten dating blogs by Dating.comContactFacebookBooks

Photo Credit  – TeamK