Mar 012017


“Forgive your limitations and get on with your life” – Unknown

Limitations are common for many but not directly spoken by all.  Limitations are what confine or restrict us.  In life, they are those invisible chains we tend to either place on our lives ourselves or allow others to put on our lives.

Sometimes, some of these limitations may consist of unexpected situations that tend to unfold directly in front of us like a grenade.  In other situations, they may be something along the lines of not being able to do or have what we want to do or have.

In both of these examples listed, and even some others you may be imagining right now, each of these limitations is what stops us from advancing. These limitations are what keep us from reaching our ultimate goals.

Last year alone was a heck of a year for me.  Now that I think about it, last month was a heck of a time as well.  As much as I try to remind myself to not focus on that one thing I believe seems to hold me back, I somehow manage to make it the star of my life.

Last month, Somerville and I had to deal with some very trying news.  While it was not the end of the world as we now know it, it was devastating enough to us, or at least me, because I always make a mountain out of a grain of rice.

In any event, I was stumbling around in my “Whoa is me” outfit.  Please know I knew then and still believe now God has a purpose for everything in my life.  My acknowledging I know and still believe in this, however, did not have any effect on me feeling like I was the only person on the face of this earth going through some form of pain.

As I am going through this pain, I am feeling like the Grinch.  I mean I heard the theme music to how the Grinch Stole Christmas play in my head.  Over and over I kept hearing the lyrics, “You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch…” play on a continuous loop.  I was so hurt and caught off guard that I did not want to be around anyone else who was happy, and in my eyes EVERYONE else was happy.

As I am going through my rut, with my theme music playing in the background, I realize I cannot disassociate myself from the rest of the world.  I realize I am not the only person that exists in my current version of a messed up life, so I have to figure out some way to interact with them.  For Christ sake, I am a wife, mother, student, neighbor, friend, daughter, etc., etc., etc.

Now you may be asking yourself, “Is what I was going through as bad as I thought it was?”  Well, if you ask me, H-E-Double Hockey Sticks YES!  But to those on the outside looking in, who did not count in my world, maybe. To help me cope with these people, I decided I would go out into the world and mingle, but I would rain on everyone’s parade.  I wanted them to know how I felt.

So, here it is, the first day I have convinced myself to interact with the rest of society, and I am armed and ready with my clouds of rain to drop down on anyone who tries to invade my unhappy space.

Just as I am about to contradict my promise to interact with the rest of society by avoiding an incoming call, I then receive a text.  I find out someone is currently experiencing what I just went through, and my friend did not even know I had gone through it.

Wow, now the seasons have changed.  All of a sudden I do not feel good about wanting other people to go through my storm.  Furthermore, I felt this strong desire to offer them as much help and support I possibly can, so they can avoid the feelings I had.

At this point of the text/conversation, I no longer hear the theme music of the Grinch music in my head.  In fact, I hear no music at all.  Instead, I hear a conversation between me and God asking him to stop their pain as well as work on me while I deal with mine.

Just as I think this day can get no stranger, it does.  I am driving with my son as we return from the dentist.  I ask him how his day is going so far, and he answers that it isn’t going too great.  He adds he cannot wait until the week is over, because his week isn’t going that great either.

Without hesitation, I gently ask him if he cares to talk about it.  He tells me he is a little upset, because his twin sister is having a bad day.  Please know his sister is having a bad day, because I scolded her earlier this morning before she left for school.

He proceeds to tell me that when she does not feel good, he does not feel good.  Combine that with the fact school hasn’t been the best this week, and he is done, checked out, over and finished.

Immediately after hearing these words from him, I start to feel guilt and sadness.  Not because of my initially claimed horrible situation, but because of the effect I had on my family and friends.

I allowed my limitations, in this case my bad situation, to keep me from interacting on a positive note with any and everyone.  My mindset when I spoke with my daughter earlier placed her in a horrible funk, which in turn put her brother in a bad mood.

Had I been in a better mood that may not have happened.

Had I not been open, even slightly, to the possibility of other and better situations, I would not have been able to talk with my friend and offer them a shoulder, nor would I have been able to listen to my son express his feelings.

My son reminded me that although we all may go through some things that seem like the end of the world, unless the world has ended, well, chances are it is not the end of the world.  My son also reminded me, unknowingly of course, that although we may not see it, EVERYONE has their fair share of problems.

My story serves one purpose.  Please do not let your limitations or problems stand in your circle of life.  Forgive them for what they are.  Learn from them and move on.  Don’t do what I came nearly close to doing and let what might have been or could have been become the end to future possibilities.

Doretha Yvette Somerville is a native of Brooklyn, New York, and she currently resides in Fort Bragg, North Carolina.  She is a mother of 5, wife, veteran soldier, Social Worker and full time student attending Fayetteville State University working towards her Master’s degree in Social Work with a concentration in Mental Health and Substance Abuse.  ContactFacebookInstagramLinkedInTwitter

Photo Credit – patricajjoslin