Women, we are so funny and interesting. We put our whole lives on hold during our child rearing years or during our career-creating time. We have this notion we are to multi-task everything, including our lives.
When do we just sit down and take a breath? The world and our internal voice make many demands of us.
Where did we get the notion if we sit and contemplate or just stop long enough to enjoy the moment, we are not productive or are being lazy? Does it have something to do with our upbringing? Or maybe it is the way “society” has deemed the way women should behave.
It has occurred to me recently we as women compartmentalize our lives. I was in a meeting the other day with a group of wonderful women, (we are in the process of writing the petition for a charter high school) and one of the very intelligent women stated she had been putting off love or even dating until the school is approved, built and fully on its way. She just felt like she didn’t have the time to fully commit to the whole “Dating Game.”
As the group continued to share during our two minute check-in about what was going on in each of our lives, I noticed a trend among the women. We have this tendency to take care of everyone else, get all things accomplished, and then we can start to think of what we truly want or what makes us happy.
We can begin to change our lives and indeed our happiness by simply becoming aware of our choices. Not just the choices themselves, but also the place from which we are making those choices. Do we stop and ask ourselves, “Will this bring me happiness?” Or, do we make decisions on autopilot?
Where do we go in our thinking when we notice we have made a decision based on past experience? Have we held ourselves in bondage to the persona or behavior from which we have always operated? What do you think would happen if we started to blur the compartmentalized lines of the many hats we wear?
Are we choosing to make dinner for our family out of sheer obligation, or does it bring us fulfillment to do so? I noticed one time when cooking dinner, while having nothing but resentment about doing so; I couldn’t get whatever I was cooking to come out right. This made me more and more resentful of “having” to cook.
Then something whispered into my ear, “Hey Wendy, did you know you are stirring in frustration, resentment, and ill feelings into the food for your family to digest?” WOW! What an eye opener for me. It was not my intent at all. I did not want my family to taste all those things.
Since that time I consciously choose to stir in love, peace, joy and other uplifting thoughts into my cooking creations. Do you know what? My cooking has changed for the better! Try it—stir in some love and see what happens.
Could we take this same approach into the business world? When we become aware of the various choices and decisions we make on a moment to moment basis, we start to allow the emergence of our true self, the one that is loving, happy, joyful, intelligent, funny, and generous.
We then shed the role of serious business women. Not meaning we don’t take business serious by any means simply by sharing the unique qualities we as women have to offer. We create an environment of these expressions for ourselves and for others to experience.
It gives permission to others in the business culture to feel safe in being authentic and thus celebrating their uniqueness.
When we stop and take a breath before making choices and check in to see from which place we are coming from, i.e. resentment or love, compassion or judgment, we experience more of that in which we made our choice. I don’t know about you, but I know I want to experience more joy, more love, more peace, and so on, in my life and in my relationships.
When we pretend to be something or someone else, we move out of alignment with our values, beliefs, and way of being. That is when discord and chaos ensue.
When we stop compartmentalizing, organizing, and labeling the roles of being in the various aspects of our life, be it with work, play, family, or friends, we become more authentic by being the truth of who we are in all aspects of our lives. This brings about happiness and harmony.
Whatever compartment you are living in, bring your loving self with you, fully expressing your magnificence and uniqueness.
Dr. Wendy Kaveney is a Dale Carnegie Leadership graduate, Board member of Conscious Humanity and Managing Director of the Center of Love groups nationwide. Wendy provides expert, personalized service in her many executive roles. With high ethics, integrity, and dedication to excellence, she generously shares her wisdom and incorporates a mindful approach to business. Contact – Website – Facebook – Twitter – LinkedIn
© 2017 Dr. Wendy Kaveney. All rights reserved.
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